...And You Thought I Was The One Letting Something Pass Me By... There where many things I wanted to show you, share with you, take you to, or explore with you...
After April 19th when I almost passed on, in nights that I couldn't find any serenity in my empty home, I wondered: If I would've died, would you of cried like what I've confided matters?
After April 19th when I almost passed on, in nights that I couldn't find any serenity in my empty home, I wondered: If I would've died, would you of cried like what I've confided matters?
A Pattern or a Problem
Theres something I've always been hard on myself about. I've always known that writing is just how I deal with how I feel. But even after all those years, I... I've always concealed how I feel. When I become emotional, I isolate myself. I think too much independence can be subjectively adverse. Usually, I'm not one to want to lay weight on someone's shoulders, so I often suppress what I don't confess. Then it bottles up. I think the reasons I choose not to confide how I'd feel to the few I crush for is because I've always had my kindness taken advantage of. I've always overwhelmed myself, much-less someone else. After all the industrial materialism, I think my generation not-knowingly became more obsessed with what they have rather than who they are. I think this obscures possibilities of genuine love. And when you want it the most, theres no easy way out. Faith is thin in this generation so I feel like a part of a minority that truly DOES believe in love because I've felt it once before and my parents are living proof. I'm anti-adultery and some how a lot of people have a consensus in this generation that discourages genuine emotional measures at the same time it's oriented around a sex-obsessed culture. I believe people oughtta have more reasons for trusting something that will last passed trivial or temporary times. I've always believed love to be ecstasy and laughter. And thats why it's SUPPOSED to be HAPPILY ever after. But I guess my ideas of love are more magical than industrial. Maybe thats why I'd love to discover it again beyond America.
My Perspectives, Philosophies, and Notions Regarding Religion... Or What I Like To Call Spirituality
I find the Bible to be interesting. The stories, whether you refer to them for spiritual health, historical studies, or personal reasons, they are definitely interesting. Some are hard core too. It is as if several people all saw some of the same things and provided separate 1st-person accounts of some of the most amazing world events.
However, I also believe that some aspects of other world religions have validity too. In Buddhism, the concept of karma is something very significant in my eyes. There is usually a lot in my eyes though. Of all things, I tend to be bias to Jesus more so than most because, in my eyes, other world religions are man attempting to reach God, while Christianity (to me) is more God trying to reach man. I believe everybody that belongs in heaven is pre-destined. Some just find out sooner than others.
My ideas of Revelations are my favorite topic out of the Bible because it is the only book that happens to apply to the present point in time as well as the future, besides the book of Daniel. I also like the Song of Solomon but Revelations was written by John the Baptist and it was his visions or dreams that pertain to the way the world would be before the 2nd coming. The End of Days in other words.
I believe the end of one era is a beginning of another. And we are still in an ideal Ice Age. Once so many things come to pass after these next decades, there happened to be a prophetic idea that entailed a Golden New Age and 1000 years of peace. In my mind I would imagine the concept of currency in new ways. As well as an extremely higher portion of the brain utilized at large. A world that humans had more senses in. One that was filled with an understanding that lead to living in the most beautiful circumstances. No greed. No selfishness. No confusion. No turmoil. No division. No adultery. No Anguish.
This world should exist several decades after 2013.
However, I also believe that some aspects of other world religions have validity too. In Buddhism, the concept of karma is something very significant in my eyes. There is usually a lot in my eyes though. Of all things, I tend to be bias to Jesus more so than most because, in my eyes, other world religions are man attempting to reach God, while Christianity (to me) is more God trying to reach man. I believe everybody that belongs in heaven is pre-destined. Some just find out sooner than others.
My ideas of Revelations are my favorite topic out of the Bible because it is the only book that happens to apply to the present point in time as well as the future, besides the book of Daniel. I also like the Song of Solomon but Revelations was written by John the Baptist and it was his visions or dreams that pertain to the way the world would be before the 2nd coming. The End of Days in other words.
I believe the end of one era is a beginning of another. And we are still in an ideal Ice Age. Once so many things come to pass after these next decades, there happened to be a prophetic idea that entailed a Golden New Age and 1000 years of peace. In my mind I would imagine the concept of currency in new ways. As well as an extremely higher portion of the brain utilized at large. A world that humans had more senses in. One that was filled with an understanding that lead to living in the most beautiful circumstances. No greed. No selfishness. No confusion. No turmoil. No division. No adultery. No Anguish.
This world should exist several decades after 2013.
In the Midst of My Mind in Times That Mattered Most.
I think its comforting to believe that what ever exists beyond our comprehension, can understand me for everything that no other human can understand me for. Time is of the essence. YOU will live to see all things. My sign is the center of the solar system; It provides light, heat, and energy. I have foreseen the sum of all my dreams and ambitions, but have been held back by pharmaceutical conditions. I mediate between the victims and the systems. Then when I am soon gone, I hope to find the jungle with some one...
Hopefully*
By my fourth decade in life. I'd like to ultimately be out of America, honestly. The beauty in this world is only restricted from those that don't or won't obtain their true self-made sense of success. After this is accomplished, the options of an open wonderful world are actually possible. Its a lack of focus that prevents people from obtaining that TRUE feeling of "freedom." Maybe thats a reference to some form of meditation. Or a new magical medication. My idea of freedom isn't anything possible in America because everywhere is a pricetag or an expense. The best things in life are not material. True beauty lies at the beaches. In the rainforests. On the islands. In travel. And also in one worth a bigger picture. Faith is vital even though mine is often tested at times because I have problems with patience and anxieties.... But all for the right reasons I guess. To think that Faith itself will permit more than what I worry for in this present point in time, will basically reassure me that maybe everything DOES happen for a reason.....
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Crum and Jake @ Mt. Ashland
Crum and Jake take the Camera to Mt. Ashland. Ridin' in the snow and just havin' a blast. A lot of hilarious clips and some cool video shots. The Lost Piece, My First Jamaican Rosta Song: The Power To VOTE, Gettin' lifted, and Saying My GoodByes. I also included an ending musical instrumental I produced in Multimedia Class called 'Subtle Beauty.' Crumology Productions 5th short feature film. First film with no relations to any academic endeavor. The only of 5 that had nothing to do with college.
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